Alternative Blog

I'm turning my dormant Form 19 blog into a log for my summer of weed spraying. Hopefully I will keep that one updated more than this one, but we'll see how that goes.

You can find it at:

http://form19.blogspot.com/

Just because Obama decrees it doesn't make it so

Everyone can all be so happy now that by 2016 an auto maker's fleet will have an average mileage rating of 35.5 mpg. Obama has decreed it and solved the problem of dependency on foreign oil and pollution problems all in one fell swoop. It's historic.

But wait! Just because the government says cars must get 35.5 mpg doesn't mean it can actually happen. Hell, why not just demand cars get 40 mpg, or 80 mpg, why not 400 mpg? If Obama can say, "Uh, by, uh, 2016, uh, all new, uh, cars, will get, uh, 35 mpg" why couldn't he say they will get "uh, 400 mpg?" Obviously the will of government will outweigh any actual technology.

This is the problem. Auto makers do have technology for cars to get upwards of 40 mpg, however the tradeoff is these cars will be little more than glorified golf carts. Americans want large cars, whether it be family sedans, crossovers, SUVs, or full sized trucks, the demand is for large cars and the technology to make those cars get 30 to 35 mpg just isn't there yet and it's doubtful it will be there by 2016.

Supporters of these new emissions and mileage standards will claim that the 35.5 mpg is an average of the fleet and that not all cars produced by one auto maker must be 35.5 mpg. Yes, that is correct; however, that average must still be met and if most of the fleet gets 20 mpg meeting that average will be a problem. 

The solution? It will be that more small cars will have to be added to the fleet to bring that average mpg in line. It won't matter if they can't sell a single one of these as long as they are available. Of course, how long will it be before these golf carts are the only car that is available and we are forced into them?

Obama does admit that it will now cost more to buy a car because it will be more expensive to produce these higher gas mileage cars. In fact Obama, who knows all, has actually nailed down the price to be $1300 more. Isn't it amazing how he can see that out in the future? But don't worry because you will more than make up that price in fuel savings says the Bamster.

If you believe all that then I have a tropical island in North Dakota to sell you as well.

But lets just say this whole thing did reduce the amount of gas you used. If you are using less than it's likely everyone is using less. If less gas is being used, bought rather, than that also means that there is less gas being taxed. And that of course means that gas tax revenues will be way down. "So what?" you ask.

We all know that the government, whether it be federal or local, can never do with less money. Do you think they will sit by idly as gas tax revenues decrease? Ha! Ha ha! Of course not, they will raise the taxes on gas to make up the deficit. This has already happened in places like Florida that put in water restrictions. People used less water (per the government mandate), therefore there was less money rolling in, so prices were raised on water. So when that gas tax goes up, how much will you really be saving?

Five Words

Five words that sum up my hope for the future:

I. Want. Obama. To. Fail.

That is all.

The Men of the Depression

I have been thinking today about the Great Depression since that is the direction we seem to be heading. And I've been thinking about my reaction to being laid off. I have to think the men of the Great Depression probably didn't get to feeling the way I have.

They didn't have time to get that way. There was no unemployment, there was no FDIC protection, there wasn't a thousand government agencies to take care of you; you had to do it yourself. Either you could lay in the gutter and feel sorry for yourself or you could go out in search of work, any work, to sustain yourself.

Some of these people lost everything. The Joads from The Grapes of Wrath were a fictional representation of the thousands of families that were hardest hit. They lost their home, nearly all of their belongings, and watched the earth turn to uninhabitable dust all around them. Former neighbors and friends bulldozed their homes as a means of survival for their families. 

And then I look at myself. I still have a house, a car, a full refrigerator, a TV, internet, what do I have to be so depressed about compared to the Joads? I only lost my job, they lost it all. Tom Joad had only a few minutes to reflect on what he had lost before he HAD to go in search of work; I've had a month and could continue on for several more before I felt any pain.

The question is do I compare up to the men who made it through the depression or have I just become another whining spoiled American? My grandfather didn't sit around during the depression, he worked for a farmer for a dollar a day - and that was a well earned dollar. The days were long, the work still backbreaking. He eventually went to work for the Civilian Conservation Corps building roads in western North Dakota until World War II started. 

I can't imagine he was in a great mood throughout this time period, but then how much time did he have to reflect on it? It was work or starve - and he sure as hell wouldn't ever become a beggar. But what about myself? I can probably collect railroad unemployment after July first, but I feel like such a leech in taking it (even though it is taken only from railroad retirement funds which is what I have been being taxed on separately since working for the railroad). It seems like I should be out there doing whatever in necessary instead of sitting around and whining about what has happened.

I used to think I would have made it through the Great Depression; I used to think I would never become one of those whining Americans that leeches off of others; now though, I'm not so sure I am who I think I am.

Not Myself

You know when I started this blog things were going great? Well, except for the political world, but then how could I possibly expect that to get any better for at least another two years. When I started this blog I was on the conductor's extra board for the Wisconsin and Southern railroad in Janesville, WI. I had six people underneath me, all still in training, but I knew it would not be long before I had at least enough seniority to keep me off the crappiest of jobs and there was no way I would be forced anywhere. I was meeting new friends and reconnecting with old friends. I was even getting really close to someone, which hadn't happened for almost a year prior. In other words, things were looking up.

Then the bottom fell out.

First the railroad got rid of all six that were in training. There went my seniority in one fell swoop. The good news was there were no plans for further cuts, so even if I had a crappy bid, I still had a job, and a job I was fairly well enjoying. Unfortunately they created a bid crappier than any they had done prior - a new job at Rock Springs, WI, at 1600. Since I was bottom of the list, you can figure who got FORCED to that job.

Now Rock Springs would have been a great job had it not been 80 miles away from my house. We had our own building up there, had a great rhythm going, and just sort of did things the way we wanted; there were no trainmasters and dispatchers breathing down our necks. Unfortunately, like I said though, the job was 80 miles away and that put a huge dent in my pocketbook based on gas.

I did try to make the best of it though. Rock Springs is located in the Baraboo Syncline with scenery you would never expect to find in Wisconsin. I took the opportunity several times to visit Devil's Lake State Park on my drive up; if I was going to do that drive five days a week, I might as well at least find ways to enjoy it, even if it meant driving back home in the middle of the night.

I figured it couldn't be the end of the world. The bid sucked but eventually I would get off it. Besides, there was no talk of cutting any more people, we were told things had settled down and the company was doing fine. In fact, they made me feel so confident I traded in my Ford Explorer (which I despised) for an 08 Hyundai Santa Fe. At least I could get a little better mileage on my 160 mile daily drive.

Not even a week later a fax came through to the Rock Springs depot: "All employees will receive a 10% pay cut and job cuts are also expected." Well they told ME I should be safe. So a 10% pay cut. I figured I would just spend a few nights a week up at the Rock Springs depot to cut back on driving costs. Yes it sucked, but I still had a job, and a job I still liked.

The next day my phone rang with the dispatcher on the other end of the line: "Show up in Madison, bring all your equipment." Fuck me, I knew exactly what that was. And to top it off I had to drive 80 miles up to Rock Springs and 50 back to Madison because all of my equipment was up at the depot. Talk about icing on the cake.

So we were all called in, 10 of us I think, and told we were all furloughed. The next week they let a bunch more go. That pretty much ruined my chances of coming back anytime soon, since I had nearly a dozen people that would have to be called back ahead of me and there was no sign they would be doing callbacks any time soon. Worst of all my trainmaster knew there were a bunch of people that should have been fired besides myself and a lot of others that were because we were following the rules and doing a great job, but some with more seniority are constantly in hot water, but they have seniority. Just like liberal politics, work ethic has no play, it was all just whoever had been there the longest.

So now here I am something like three or four weeks later and I am completely not myself. I used to brush off adversity (as you could see above "it sucks, but I still have a job") but now it just makes me depressed. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I'm looking at going to grad school but I'm not sure I could make the deadline which makes me more depressed because it's just that much longer I have to sit and twiddle my thumbs. 

Nothing I used to do that brought me joy does so anymore. I used to love sitting down to play jazz at the piano, now it just depresses me because I can't play as well as I used to; I used to enjoy traveling and photography, but now I don't feel like driving nor getting out of the car to take a photo. 

And I'm really drifting away from people. I just don't even feel like talking to anyone anymore. When my phone beeps a call or new text message I just get annoyed. A new voicemail just pisses me off. Some of the people I was getting close to I now feel like pushing away - I don't know why. The few people I would like to see are hundreds, even thousands of miles away; and when I do get within range I then don't feel like talking to them. Some of my new friends I've met in Wisconsin also drive me nuts - no real reason, just that antisocial stage I've drifted in to.

And now I'm back at home in ND. I love this state, love the scenery, but I just do not feel like being here. And worst of all I feel like I'm forced to be here right now. I have no excuse to remain in Wisconsin because I have no job. My only escape is that I have to return to check up on my house every few weeks.

Worst of all I hate this not being myself. I used to look at adversity in the face and laugh, I used to love getting a phone call or text message, I used to love visiting ND - but not anymore. I really hate not being myself, no direction, no sign of things picking up. I don't foresee things getting much worse, but I do see an endless wandering through the wilderness trying to figure out what path will get me out - unfortunately all I see is more trees.